Answers to Prayer

There's a verse in Ephesians that mentions how when we pray to God he gives us more than we can ask for...more than we can even imagine.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20.

I don't think I've ever experienced this more than what happened yesterday.

I have always had struggles with friendships. I fought with students in elementary school a lot, even getting sent to the counselor once for a disagreement with a boy in my class. I had various difficulties with some of the girls in my class treating me badly because I was different...because they simply wanted to be cruel. By sixth grade I started feeling very isolated. I even started pushing away the friends I already had, because I was scared of getting hurt.

In junior high things became even worse. My elementary school friends had moved on and formed new friendship groups. I was stuck with a new group as well, but one I really didn't fit into very well. I was teasingly referred to as "the nerd", and though I laughed with everyone else the realities that I didn't fit in and that I wasn't loved for my personality were hard for me to understand.

Ninth grade was particularly painful. My "friends" had begun ignoring me. They would get up from the table in the middle of lunch and leave to go outside without saying a word to me. People stopped talking to me altogether. The only reason I got through it is because I have a supportive family and I was a part of a once a week Bible study that kept my spirits up through prayer and support.

Even so isolation and loneliness pushed me into a depression. By January I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts wondering if anyone would miss me if I left, or if anybody really cared. There were days I would sit in my bedroom listening to Christian music as a I cried. Some of those days I'd pray to God to kill me, because I didn't want to live anymore. Other days I would think through the different forms of suicide, though I knew I could never do any because pain and death terrify me. Still, those years were hard.

God strengthened my relationship with him over those years. He did that and he also did eventually provide a few new friends to help me.

High school was a much happier experience. I gained friends quickly and grew in self confidence. And then I hit college.

In college all my closest friendships were ripped away from me. I had friends fly off to other countries, others moving miles upon miles further away from Idaho.

While I have made friendships in college, most are not as strong (of course) as those I built with people over three or four years. I love my college friends, but often I cannot open up to them the way I used to be able to with my group of friends, and more than anything with my Bible study.

As I have said in other blog posts, this last year has been a hard one. I have struggled with allowing friends from high school to distance themselves, some to a point where we hardly communicate anymore. And at the same time I've been trying to find the love and support I need amongst those I am still getting to know.

This stressful school year has already found me spending many evenings lamenting my problems to God in the prayer chapel. In those times I have often asked him to send me a person I can talk to when I need to. I have asked God ceaselessly for love and support from some group of some sort. My loss of my Bible study may have in part been some of my spiritual decline. Having that group meant a lot to me. They were one of the things I had even when I was all alone at school.

And now God has answered my prayers in greater abundance than I could have imagined.

There was recently a club formed on campus called Abide. I had no idea what it really was, and only had seen posters around. I ignored it for the most part. That is until my ex-roommate and current roommate mentioned it in a conversation. Out of curiosity I asked what it was about, and they explained it was a support group for girls who were struggling. They could go there to get questions answered, to get support, to be loved and mentored. I told them maybe I'd try it next Thursday.

And then Thursday rolled around.  I was incredibly busy with homework, but for some reason I felt like God was telling me to go and just spend the night finishing up on the pieces I hadn't yet completed.

I'm so glad God told me to go.

The group had about twenty to thirty girls in it. They began the evening with worship time singing along to some songs, and then moved on to some speaking. The two club leaders and their supervisor all shared their personal stories. They were incredibly vulnerable and open about their lives and the things they are struggling with. I was touched by their willingness to be so honest with a group of strangers.

The group is very well set up. There is an application explaining why you want to be involved and what areas in particular you need help with. I am excited by the fact that some of the things I have been struggling with the most are on the list of possible small groups to join. I know God is going to do great things with this and give me the help, healing, support, love and prayer I have needed for the last year.

So to me this just shows how good God is. I asked for someone I could talk to freely so I could have support in my life. I asked for him to help with curing loneliness, pain and problems. And now God has not just provided a person...he's provided several. I am going forward with hope in the goodness of my Father, in that even in my simple request he can turn it into something amazing.  Thank you God.