A Christmas Thought

So first I would like to sincerely apologize for not being on for over a month now. I've been extremely busy and also extremely distracted, but that was no excuse to abandon my blog entirely.
I thought I'd first start off with something appropriate for the time of year...Christmas! Yes, Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat...everything at school is super busy and hectic, but I'm taking a little time to sit down and write this.




Yesterday we had our Christmas chapel at school! It was beautiful. First we watched this hilarious video that you absolutely must watch because it is wonderful.

After that we played some beautiful Christmas carols and I got to be a part of it in the worship band. It was a great way to get in the mood for Christmas.

But the part I enjoyed the very most was when the university president got up and spoke. His message was very unique.

I sat back in my chair waiting to hear the nativity story as always, already thinking about a story I was in the process of writing to occupy my attention. I wasn't really interested in listening to the Christmas story, even though most of the time I love it. It was just one of those days.

However, instead our university president started out with talking about Black Friday. Alright, that was interesting. I could listen to that part and then tune out again when he got to the boring nativity stuff, right?

But he didn't really get to the boring nativity stuff...not entirely. Instead he started to talk about a subject that startled me...Santa Claus.

So most of the time there's kind of a negative image of Santa in the church. People get all annoyed and start talking about how first of all its lying to tell your kids that there is a Santa (which goes against Biblical principle) and secondly he takes away from the whole idea of Christmas because Christmas is supposed to be focused on Christ. You even see Santa's hung on crosses. I very distinctly remember having a Sunday school teacher who refused to celebrate Christmas with any aspect of popular culture. He said the only thing they did on Christmas was read the nativity story.

So as our speaker began talking I was surprised, but I quickly settled into the mindset that he would start talking about how Santa should be ignored and how Christ was the center of Christmas.

Instead he wove a very different story. He told of a man who loved Christ so much that he wanted to demonstrate that love in his daily life through various acts of giving.

This man found a family in his town with three daughters who had no dowries. When each daughter came of age he'd leave a sack of gold on the doorstep for them. He also never took any credit for it, doing the deed in the dead of night.

The father of the three girls was curious so as the youngest came of age he finally decided to catch the benefactor in the act. He waited up every night waiting for the gold to arrive. But the Christian man had heard about this so the night he brought the gold he climbed up on the roof and dumped it down the chimney. It landed on the girls stocking where they had been left to dry by the fireplace.

Saint Nicholas of Myra

Saint Nicholas. We often forget he was a Saint. He's developed into this fat, jolly old man, but the true story of Santa Claus is one of a man who loved Christ so much that he demonstrated it in his acts of giving. Our president left us with a simple message: this Christmas think a little bit more about who you give to, and less about what you get. Christmas has been turned into a commercial holiday. It is all about getting, and we have forgotten the aspect of giving, which is the true spirit of Christmas. God gave us Christ to save us, and so in the spirit of rememberance for that gift we should give daily (not just at Christmas) to others. This can be through our actions, our words, our help, our touch, or through physical gifts. There are so many possible ways to give. Keep that in mind as you go throughout your holiday.

Merry Christmas.

Confusion

I just looked at my blog and realized it's been more than a week since I've posted anything. My last post was also sloppy and short. As I began to ponder why that was I realized, A. I've been busy and B. I haven't been inspired. I thought more about it and realized that I've had a lot going on in my mind, and in reality I'm a little confused right now.

The first source of my confusion is this. I finished writing a novel in the last month. Now I had always thought that day would be one of celebration for me, but somehow the day was oddly empty. The book was sloppily written. It had terrible writing, and a poor plotline. Though I had set out to write something great I had come back with a poor piece of work. My disappointment was huge. This was my first book and I couldn't even consider publishing it without rewriting the whole thing. I was so confused. How could this happen? I'm considered a great writer. I'm in a 300 level English class as a Freshman! Just the other day my lit. professor told me if I'm not an English major I should be. So how could I fail so badly?



The thing I hadn't realized is that I had set into the book without God's help. Writing that I had asked God to help me with turned out amazing. I not only didn't talk to God about this book, I ignored Him and completely forgot about Him. I made one reference in the book (almost as if to say...see I included you!) about the God of Justice and how a young slave had been freed thanks to prayers to him. Oh and I named four of my characters Matthew, Marc, Luke and John. That's good enough, right God?

But it wasn't. That book had so much potential for God to do something with it. And that's not to say the story is completely irredeemable. It will just have to be scrapped and it will take much longer to get it to his potential.

So now I’m concentrating my time on finishing one of the best books God has ever given me. It’s sort of a modern fantasy. When I describe it to people I explain it’s like Narnia because of its allegorical nature, but in reality it isn’t so light and kid friendly as Narnia. It’s sort of a mix of Narnia and Harry Potter. It’s pretty dark, but it is Christian. It takes place in the modern world (our world) but it has a magical element and an allegory beneath the real story.

God has worked amazing miracles through this story. It didn’t start out as Christian at all and certainly not as an allegory. In fact it didn’t become an allegory until about chapter 12, but I didn’t have to revise much because it worked as out. God created a miracle when I randomly named my character Jean Chasseur and then found out that the man recorded in history to have defeated this strange wolf creature the book kind of centered around was named Jean Chastel. God simply did amazing things with that book and I did my best to communicate daily with him about it and where it was going. It wasn’t tainted with sexual humor or bad language or other things that some of my books struggle with. It was fairly well written and it had a cool plotline that worked. For a sneak peak of this book look on my writing page. It’s the first one listed A Path through the Setting Sun.

So I’m sort of leaving my first finished book behind. It can be my first finished book, but this next one will be my first finished book with God.

Another thing that has been troubling me a lot lately is the possibility of what God wants me to do with my life.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Ever since I was in third grade, or maybe even before I’ve loved the thought of writing books. In fourth grade I attended a writing conference, and after that I was history.

Nowadays, however, I recognize that it is not practical to live as a writer. For that reason I have made it my plan to become an editor or publisher and then later go back to school to get my masters and doctorate so I can teach at the university. But lately God has been putting something else on my heart.

On my blog there is a page marked Social Justice. This has been a subject that has touched my heart for a long time.

I just finished up a class about justice and global poverty. The class brought up many new issues to me, but it also brought back some of the old ones that I have always been interested in working to prevent. The most prominent was that of sex trafficking and even more for child sex slavery.

On my own time I watched a documentary called The Cutting Edge: The Child Sex Trade. The documentary is not for the faint of heart. It is not horribly graphic in its descriptions, but it does describe. I felt a little bit sick after watching it actually. The movie focuses especially on young boys who are trafficked in Romania. Oftentimes people assume that trafficking victims are women and girls, but this showed that the sex trade affects both sexes.



Trying to think of the moment that struck me the most is difficult. In one part a twelve year old homeless boy describes to the camera how a man pulled him into his apartment and used him before throwing him out the window. The young boy showed an ugly scar on his head from the fall. After explaining he went and threw up in the corner of the subway station where he spends a lot of his time. Just talking about it made him sick. It was one of the few times in the movie when the boys actually opened up and made it clear that even if they act like everything in their life is ok it’s not. They always put on a smiling façade for the camera, but after awhile it would come off. The twelve year old was the most dramatic, but another boy when asked if he liked his “work” hesitated a little before saying “no, but I need money”. A third was shown pictures of himself on a porn website. When asked how he was feeling he made a strained face and said “not so nice.”  

Perhaps an even more striking thing for me was when the man in charge of the documentary pulled over in Italy and had a young boy come over to sell himself. Now, this was disturbing enough in itself, but even more upsetting was when the boy’s father came over to help work out a price. A fourteen year old boy was being pimped by his own father. The sense of injustice I felt was nearly overwhelming, but the man redeemed himself a little. It’s the poverty of the family that’s causing him to take such a measure. It’s either sell the boy or starve. Even in doing such a vial thing the father was protective. Even if he was giving his boy over for a half hour to a stranger he made sure to try to protect the boy as best he could. He took the license plate number and said he would call the police if they weren’t back in the allotted time. He also made stipulations about how the boy was to be treated. The man in the documentary ran into several other cases where family members were selling a boy. The youngest was probably ten, and was being pimped by his older brothers.



My picture of people selling these children was changed slightly. There is more than one case out there. The movie showed the scenario of children being sold by their own families to raise profits, but showed that perhaps these people aren’t as heartless as they may first appear. It’s still wrong, but if these people are struggling so much for food, what else are they supposed to do? It showed me that once again poverty is often a root problem to all the others, perhaps the reason Jesus made such a big deal of talking about feeding the hungry and clothing the poor. The other case for prostitution shown was that of a greedy lustful man whose only desire was to collect young children from himself and his customers. This scenario also needs to be stopped through better laws and more prevention. At the same time helping to get children like the ones shown in the documentary off the street will help as well because the children will be less vulnerable and less likely to agree to sell themselves for money.

But I’ve ranted for long enough. The main point is that this documentary once again returned me to my idea of being involved with social justice somehow…doing something to stop the horrible abuse of these children. So again I feel like God is putting this on my heart, but I’m still confused about what he wants me to do about it.

So what’s the point of this blog post? It’s simply to talk about what God’s doing in my life. Confusing me. Well, it sure seems like it. For now I’m just listening and waiting and hoping God will send a clear message sometime soon so if I need to change my major I can.

I know I must be patient. I’ve been reading verses that have been encouraging me to wait.



“In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 5: 3

“In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 27:14

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40: 1

“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 130: 5

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Isaiah 30: 18

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” Micah 7: 7.

So even in my confusion I dedicate myself to prayer and hope that God will answer me soon in asking if this documentary was merely something to open my eyes to the injustice of the world, or if it is truly a calling to do something. In the meantime I continue with my writing the right way, with God’s help. Let this last verse be my plea:

“LORD, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.” Psalm 38:15

 

Gods Perfect Timing

This will be an extremely brief post due to the fact that it is almost two in the morning and my roommate is asleep. Why is it two in the morning? Because I'm freaking out and trying to finish my British Literature on Edmund Spencer and his poem The Faerie Queene, which is one of the most difficult English poems out there.

Essentially I'm freaking out and I'm tired and worried about falling back asleep tomorrow morning because I have to get up at 7 am (hence my alarm clock is on the other side of the room). Anyhow, my biggest worry is not doing well on the project and getting a poor grade. Well as I pulled up my email to check for any new updates I saw my Bible Gateway verse of the day. Now normally I don't actually read them, because I just feel too busy. But today was a time I actually needed it. So I quickly opened the email and this is what I saw.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

All I can say is that God has a perfect sense of timing and He is good and perfect. Thank you God. I'll stop freaking out now and put the book aside and go to bed. I know I need my sleep more than anything.

And with that all I can do is to bid thee goodnight (eek this British poetry is rubbing off on me!)

But seriously. Goodnight. And remember, God has a plan for you and He has an awesome sense of timing when you need Him most.

Pride

Today God did something that I have seen him do a number of times in my life. He severely humbled me.

I am a part of the worship class at my college and it is my favorite class. On the first day I was given a solo to play on my violin. I was delighted and so excited to have a chance to show off my talents.

As each day passed I grew more and more prideful. I told all of my friends that I met. I informed them of the exact day I would be playing. My RA even put it on the board. She announced it to everyone and I made sure that every person I knew heard that I was playing for chapel and I had a solo.



Today I came to my class and I found that two other violinists had been added. We all play the "solo" together.

I was utterly crushed.

God did this for a reason. As I walked past the calendar on a floor tonight I looked up at the "Emily plays for worship!" on October Fifth. I erased it, feeling bitter and angry. I'm still somewhat upset by the whole thing, even though I understand exactly why God did this.

I was not focusing on worship. I was focusing on myself. I was utterly prideful, which the Lord hates.

Below I have posted some of the verses that talk about pride. There are 63 but I included only the ones that meant the most to me.

I want to remind before it gets too late that pride may seem all bad, and certainly my pride was. But there is a good kind of pride. At the very bottom I've added some verses on what we are allowed to be proud of. As you go through your life remember God is not asking you to be detached from everything. He is merely asking that you humble yourselves in the right situations.

That's all I have to say.

Leviticus 26:19
I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.

2 Chronicles 26:16
But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God, and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense.

Psalm 10:4
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23
Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.

Isaiah 13:11
I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.

Isaiah 23:9
The LORD Almighty planned it, to bring down her pride in all her splendor and to humble all who are renowned on the earth.

Isaiah 25:11
They will stretch out their hands in it, as swimmers stretch out their hands to swim. God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands.

Ezekiel 28:2
“Son of man, say to the ruler of Tyre, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: “‘In the pride of your heart you say, “I am a god; I sit on the throne of a god in the heart of the seas.” But you are a mere mortal and not a god, though you think you are as wise as a god.

Daniel 4:37
Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

1 John 2:16
For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Good Pride:

Ezekiel 24:21
Say to the people of Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am about to desecrate my sanctuary—the stronghold in which you take pride, the delight of your eyes, the object of your affection. The sons and daughters you left behind will fall by the sword.


Romans 11:13
I am talking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch as I am the apostle to the Gentiles, I take pride in my ministry


2 Corinthians 5:12
We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.


2 Corinthians 8:24
Therefore show these men the proof of your love and the reason for our pride in you, so that the churches can see it.


Galatians 6:4
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,


James 1:9
Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position.

Temptation

British Literature. It’s my favorite class essentially and the class that is providing the most inspiration in my daily life. Today we talked about one of my favorite stories in the whole world: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.



When I was little I always liked stories about King Arthur, and one of my all time favorite stories was a series called The Squire’s Tales. These books centered around Sir Gawain’s young squire as the two went off on adventures. The second book housed this famous Old English tale. And for that reason I have always enjoyed the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, in fact Gawain is probably my favorite knight in King Arthur’s court.

But he has good cause to be my favorite! He’s actually probably the second best fighter (second to Lancelot of course). Not only that but he actually has about the same, if not more stories than Lancelot. Somehow our culture has made him less significant, but in the days of Arthurian legend he was a big deal. Unlike Lancelot Gawain is not well known for bravery or strength. Instead his virtues are continence (sexual purity), courtesy, liberality (generosity), loving kindness and plenty. He is a very chivalrous fellow, actually known as The Maiden’s Knight.

Gawain is in many ways a very good man.



The story of the Green Knight centers around a rogue knight who emerges on Christmas eve challenging Arthur. He says that he will willingly take the blow of an axe on his neck, if he may strike the same blow to the man who gives it to him. Gawain steps forward to take the challenge. When the man picks up his head again and puts it back on Gawain knows he’s made a mistake

But regardless he goes to the knight’s requested meeting place a year later to fulfill his oath. On the way he stops at a castle and stays with another knight. The knight their offers Gawain an exchange. He will give everything he gets hunting to Gawain if Gawain gives everything he should receive around the castle. Thinking it a good deal Gawain accepts.

The next morning his host’s wife is on his bed. She tries to coax Gawain into an affair. Due to his virtue he denies her, but she gives him a quick kiss before leaving. That evening he exchanges the kiss for the gain from the hunt.



The pattern continues with the kiss until the third day when the lady gives him a green girdle. She says he will be protected if he wears it and no man will be able to chop off his head. By the vow he made Gawain should rightfully give the girdle up to the knight that evening. Instead he keeps it a secret.

When he goes to challenge the green knight he wears the belt. His head indeed does not get struck off, but when the green knight is finished he calls Gawain a liar. It is the same knight who hosted Gawain the days before. He has caught Gawain in the act of lying. Gawain quickly realizes the mistake he has made and is repentant. He returns to Arthur wearing the green girdle on his arm as a sign of his shame.

The story made me think more on temptation, for that’s what the lady is to Gawain. She tempts him first with her body, which Gawain righteously refuses, and then with a smaller more obscure sin. Gawain lies and breaks his word. He gives in. This story really made me think more about the issue of temptation in the Christian life.

 

I listened to Psalm 23 today. It's interesting. Many people find Psalm 23 a psalm for hope, and certainly it has some of that connotation for me as well. However, it also has become a way of pulling myself back to God. I guess in a way it serves as my shepherd's crook, jerking me back to God when I try to stray too far.

 I received that idea when I read the series The Mark of the Lion by Francine Rivers over the summer. In the first book a thirteen year old boy named Prometheus is introduced as a minor character. He's a sex slave, living in a homosexual relationship with another man. In the second book Prometheus finds Christ and tries to escape from his past sins. He laments at one point to Hadassah, the protagonist, that he cannot seem to get away from his sin and is often tempted. He fears that God will never forgive him for what he has done in his past. When Hadassah parts with him, Prometheus becomes even more troubled. He fears that he will not be nearly as accountable without her, but Hadassah tells Prometheus that whenever he is tempted he should recite the Shepherd's Psalm, or Psalm 23.

At first I was puzzled by that. It didn't seem to be a very good verse to distract from temptation, but when I looked a little closer I found it was. A verse about temptation still focuses on the point of temptation. Psalm 23 gently leads the mind back to its true focus. God.

Today I recited that Psalm to myself. I have found myself doing that on many occasions when tempted with sins like lying, cheating, lust, or impatience. I find that Psalm 23 draws me back to God. I remember what's really important. I feel the psalm sums up some of God’s greatest attributes such as love, grace and forgiveness. It also reminds that God is our provider, our comforter, our help in trouble, our shepherd and our loving father. Through this verse there are many key ideas that when I look at it remind me of how I am sinful, but still loved, and (somehow) forgiven for everything.



It starts out: The Lord is my Shepherd…instantly that reminds me of him finding me as a lost lamb and drawing me back. He is good and kind and looks over me. Even if I have sinned I find this verse of comfort.

I shall not be in want: give up my petty wants and fears. I constantly find that worry draws me away from God. I get so focused on trying to find a job, or trying to finish homework that I don’t pay attention to my God who will provide for me when times are hard. God is constantly watching over me and will take care of me. I don’t have to worry

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul: Again this goes back to worrying and constantly being up and about and doing work. God gives me rest. He replenishes me and makes me new. I also have to remember this relates to sin. God restores me and makes me new, even though I make mistakes. I do not have to be ashamed.



Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil for you are with me: even when faced with temptation or when struggling through trials God never leaves me. He is constantly with me.

Your rod and your staff they comfort me: God protects me and looks over me. He never lets me into more temptation than I can face.

You have prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies: God provides and looks after me, even in the face of evil and sin.

You anoint my head with oil: I had my head anointed at a worship event this month and it was really incredible. The chaplain drew the symbol of the cross on my forehead and I felt like I was truly marked as a follower of God. And it’s true I am. I am set apart. God chooses me and marks me as his own, even though I have sinned and made mistakes. He forgives me.

My cup overflows: God blesses me greatly. My life is filled with the love of Christ and for that reason I should resemble Him as best I can. This means trying to avoid temptation and show what being a follower of God means. But even when I mess up God still loves me more deeply than I can ever imagine.



Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life: Even though the life of Christ is not easy and there are constant temptations I am still loved, always. God forgives.

I will dwell in the house of the lord forever: I am a part of God’s family and He loves me.

 

So I encourage that in the face of temptation you try out this verse. It can be very handy to have verses stored away for specific times. One boy in our speech class got nervous when he got up. He immediately said “Can someone recite Philippians 4:13 or something?” I almost laughed, unused to kids blurting out Bible verses as I come from a public high school. But he’s right. It was good to have a verse on hand for the times he was nervous: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Similarly we should have verses to help us when we face the temptation to lose our temper, or cheat, or say something mean, or gossip. Scripture is important.

Hebrews 4:12:
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

The word of the lord is powerful. Use it in your daily battles against sin. Sir Gawain might have had his sword and armor in real life. He even had God, but he forgot to cling to the truth and the word in order to avoid sin.

Worship

I really don't have a lot to say about God's work this week. He's been a little bit quieter, but certainly still ever present.
So this week I just wanted to put up a post about worship and spending time daily with God.
Spending time with God is not my strength. People often time think I devote a lot of time to Bible study and that kind of thing, and with a group this is true. I love being involved, but I'm bad about devoting time to just delve into God's word by myself. This blog has actually helped because it has forced me to look up scripture and study and think.
However I sometimes do like to spend God in more unique ways. Sometimes I just like to pray. Other times I just turn on a bunch of worship music for some time while I study. Other times it's just me humming the music.
I joined a worship class this week and I am loving it so much that I think God might even be calling me to be a music minor, if the program comes to my school (it's supposed to in the next year).
So for my blog I decided to just post some of my favorite worship songs. Listen to whichever ones you choose. In fact even better just put them on while you do something else. You'll find the tune and (even better) the lyrics coming back throughout the day as an encouragement. I know this is part of the reason we should read the Bible because in the same way those song lyrics come back the verses come back too. I know I'm reading the Bible enough when verses start popping up in my head.
So read the Bible, it is important. Worship songs do have great meaning, but the Bible is the greatest, and it is where all true worship does come from. So you should have both scripture and worship songs popping up in your head.
Anyhow, here are a few songs. The first is (GFU students this is a spoiler alert!) one that my worship band will be playing in chapel and the others were just ones that I was led to put down. Please enjoy and let these songs work in your life today.

Our God by Chris Tomlin

Come Thou Fount

Desert Song by Hillsong United

Tis So Sweet- Casting Crowns

In Christ Alone

Passed By

This last Monday at chapel we heard one of greatest messages I’ve ever heard. As a person with a chronic disease it truly changed my life.

It was a story any church going child should know. The story of Peter healing the lame man. It is all the more well known from the children’s song.

Silver and Gold Have I None

For a  more cheesy version see:

Silver and Gold cheesy version

Peter and John went to Pray,

They met a lame man on the way,

He held hand, and asked for an alm,

But this is what they had to say.

Silver and gold have I none

But such as I have give I you

In the name of Jesus Christ

Of Nazareth, rise up and walk

He went walking and leaping and praising God

Walking and leaping and praising God

In the name of Jesus Christ

Of Nazareth, rise up and walk

He went walking and leaping and praising God

Walking and leaping and praising God

In the name of Jesus Christ

Of Nazareth, rise up and walk

 

Acts 3

Peter Heals a Lame Beggar

¹ One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. ² Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. ³ When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. ⁴ Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” ⁵ So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

⁶ Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” ⁷ Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. ⁸ He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. ⁹ When all the people saw him walking and praising God, ¹⁰ they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

 

The song and story may be familiar from Sunday School. Indeed when we started talking about it I leaned back, slightly bored, but also slightly interested in knowing if they would say something new about the story. I had no idea how amazing what I heard would be.

Our school’s pastor started by having some of the kids in the band act out the story for her. They carried one of the boys up to her and laid him at the “temple”. She told through the whole story this way.  

And then we began to look into the passage.

It was about that time that I noticed the abandoned wheelchair sitting near the cross on stage. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed it before, but it suddenly stood out to me. I remembered in an instant something else from the story long ago.

Back when my hands were constricted in splints I came across the most remarkable thing in a book I was reading.

The book was If God is Good by Randy Alcorn. I still can’t remember exactly how the book put it, but in the book Alcorn discussed how illness, especially chronic illness could still be present if God is good. The main point that Alcorn focused on was that God could use people who were ill to demonstrate His power. The most powerful part of that section of the book was when Alcorn talked about the crutches that were cast aside when the lame man walked and how if the man had not been lame to begin with, there would have been no miracle. Those crutches proved testament to God’s power.

I still wish I could remember it better, but all I know is that that section of the book stood out to me in a powerful way. I was in hand splints while reading the book. I may have mentioned earlier that I felt very much a cripple while in those. I couldn’t do everything I wanted and more than anything were the looks of pity that people gave me. I didn’t want pity. I just wanted to be treated normally.

God was gracious and allowed my tendons to heal naturally, allowing me to take the splints off. No surgery or anything else was needed. And so it was one day after reading that section of If God is Good that I walked into my room and stopped at the sight I saw.

The splints were lying on the bed, cast off.

They reminded me so of the crutches that I seem to recall a few tears coming. I thought of God’s marvelous work in healing me and in allowing those splints to be cast off so that I could continue to play violin and piano and live a normal life. I felt hope and peace and understanding that I had not felt before.

Glancing up at the wheelchair on the stage of the chapel caused me to remember that day. The crutches, splints, or wheelchair, all no longer needed.

 

But even though God had already revealed something to me in that passage He was good enough to real something even more.

As our pastor spoke she said something that left me shocked. She said that this man had probably been at the temple gate for a long time. She mentioned that people would pass him every day as they went through to the temple. And then she said the unthinkable.

She said the Jesus had indeed walked through those gates before, and he might have walked past that very same man. And even if he had not walked past that man, he had certainly walked past others.

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t even think about God walking past someone. And yet in a way I could. Sure I didn’t have to wear hand splints, but my joints still ached like crazy. One of the things that I hate most about my disease is the uncertainty of it. Juvenile arthritis sometimes recedes, unlike Rheumatoid arthritis. There is no certainty of whether I will live the rest of my life like this, or I will be healed. When I was first diagnosed I grasped hold of the hope that I might find normality once again. I loved reading stories on the web of young girls who had JIA (abbreviation for juvenile arthritis) as kids and then went on to become Olympic athletes. It inspired me greatly.

Kristine Holzer, Olympic Athlete

And so on that day I indeed felt like the lame man having Jesus pass by him. It wasn’t even a miracle for me to be healed, it was a possibility! And yet even then Jesus had made no guarantees to me. I felt abandoned, betrayed. How could this be the God who loved?

The pastor went on to explain the story of how a young girl at George Fox was diagnosed with a horrible disease that effected her nerves. Some days the girl could barely go to class and had to be carried there because it was so painful. Our pastor explained that she talked to the father of the girl at one point and asked him about what he thought about his daughter.

When the man talked about this particular story, the story of the lame man he had tears in his eyes. He said it gave him hope that God had a bigger purpose for his daughter. If indeed Jesus passed by the lame man on his way to the temple, he knew that God had a bigger purpose. It was not the man’s time yet. He was to be a miracle under Peter and John, not under Jesus.

God has a bigger purpose. He always does. There are so many different metaphors about how God can see the big picture and we can’t. Things about zooming in and then zooming out and how then you can see more clearly. I’ve had people talk about walking up a trail and not really being able to see where you’re going until you reach the top. But I’ve always loved the picture of God weaving a tapestry.

A fantasy book I read when I was little had a section where the young hero talks to three “witches” in the woods. I now know that they represented the fates. He looked at their weaving and could make nothing of it, and yet they explained that they were not done with it yet. If this is looked at with God rather than fate than indeed we can get a small picture of what it is like to only see the individual events.

 Again my childish memory does not allow me remember every detail, but as a girl who has spent a good deal of time traveling Europe I have loved tapestries. There are several ways a tapestry fits. Zoomed in certainly you can see nothing but the individual threads. Zoomed out you can see the way every thread fits together to create a masterpiece. Similarly the back of a tapestry is knotted and ugly, but it is those knots that form the beauty of the front. And just as with the fates…when a tapestry is not fully completed it is very hard to make out exactly what the picture is of.

Medieval tapestry

So for those who suffer from diseases, or for those who just suffer from anxiety over troubles and trials…be still and know that He is God. He has great plans for us, plans to give us a hope and a future. He will show us the way.

Here's a song to go with the last part.

There Will be a Day

My little brother has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life. He was diagnosed with diabetes when he was two years old. I have had great sympathy for his pain over the last year, something I have been very thankful to be able to understand. However, he is well known for his outlook on his disease. He does not let it hold him back. He pushes forward and tries hard in everything he does. I am so proud to call him my brother. But one thing he’s said sticks out above all the rest. I can still remember being shocked when a friend from church quoted it in a prayer to the whole congregation. It is a simple bit of hope beyond just God’s purpose for those who struggle with pain and illness.

“Heaven is the ultimate cure”- Danny Moore

One day all our tears will be wiped away. In heaven people are liberated from the diseases that held them back. Even though they may have been “passed by” and allowed to suffer, they will ultimately receive peace. For in truth God doesn’t truly “pass by” anyone. He may appear to on occasion, but He loves each and every one of us dearly. It may be painful right now, but God has plans, and in the end heaven awaits us.

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Comfort

Today a friend from the dorms came to me with some struggles. She was trying to deal with the stress and pressure of class. When she left I felt great compassion for her, and almost cried because I understood and sympathized with her pain. There are rare times in my life when I hurt because others are hurting. Most see me as fairly unemotional I think. I usually try to put a strong front on, but sometimes it slips a little.

After she left me I sank to my knees beside the bed and began to pray. I thanked God for the compassion He’d given me for my friend, and asked that He would help her and also help me to give her the words of wisdom she needed. Many people say I have the gift of wisdom and knowledge, and sometimes that may be true. But for me I sometimes don’t see that gift. When confronted with situations I often feel at a loss for wisdom. I can’t understand how it is my gift if I feel like I have so little of it.

But wisdom God indeed gave me. The girl is much better now, and the problems seem to be working themselves out. In the end what I decided was best to do was to send a few verses of comfort to her. Because God provided a very important piece of wisdom. I realized that I can never comfort as well as God can.

I may have given her a hug and some kind words, but God gives peace to the heart and soul. It is to Him we should turn when we are hurting. At the end of this blog I will list the verses I selected out, but for the time being I think there are some more important things that God is impressing upon my heart.

In British Literature yesterday we discussed the writings of Julian of Norwich. Though perhaps a little sketchy in some of her ideas, due to her belief in mysticism, Julian did have some delightful things to say about God and in the end I was impressed with her humility and her obvious delight in God and His work.

Two of the main parts we discussed in class from Julian’s book were the image of God as a mother, and the idea of God being our clothes.

To begin with Julian focuses on the unique idea that God is both our father and mother.

"It is a characteristic of God to overcome evil with good.

Jesus Christ therefore, who himself overcame evil with good, is our true Mother. We received our ‘Being’ from Him ­ and this is where His Maternity starts ­ And with it comes the gentle Protection and Guard of Love which will never ceases to surround us.

Just as God is our Father, so God is also our Mother.

And He showed me this truth in all things, but especially in those sweet words when He says: “It is I”.

As if to say, I am the power and the Goodness of the Father, I am the Wisdom of the Mother, I am the Light and the Grace which is blessed love, I am the Trinity, I am the Unity, I am the supreme Goodness of all kind of things, I am the One who makes you love, I am the One who makes you desire, I am the never-ending fulfilment of all true desires. (...)

Our highest Father, God Almighty, who is ‘Being’, has always known us and loved us: because of this knowledge, through his marvellous and deep charity and with the unanimous consent of the Blessed Trinity, He wanted the Second Person to become our Mother, our Brother, our Saviour.

It is thus logical that God, being our Father, be also our Mother. Our Father desires, our Mother operates and our good Lord the Holy Ghost confirms; we are thus well advised to love our God through whom we have our being, to thank him reverently and to praise him for having created us and to pray fervently to our Mother, so as to obtain mercy and compassion, and to pray to our Lord, the Holy Ghost, to obtain help and grace.

I then saw with complete certainty that God, before creating us, loved us, and His love never lessened and never will. In this love he accomplished all his works, and in this love he oriented all things to our good and in this love our life is eternal.

With creation we started but the love with which he created us was in Him from the very beginning and in this love is our beginning.

And all this we shall see it in God eternally."

From “Revelations of Divine Love” by Juliana of Norwich

 In class we were puzzled with this analogy and quickly began wondering if it was at all biblical. We were surprised to find that amongst the twenty some of us in the class we could come up with a few Bible passages that did lead to this idea.

We mentioned that there is a time God is characterized as a mother hen:

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” Matthew 23:37

Similarly in Isaiah it says:

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13

One of the even more powerful things we found was that God’s name is feminine and masculine at the same time, something that doesn’t come out in English translation.

In one of my Youth Walks, a devotional I use, it talked all about God’s various names. One of them is Elohim. According to the article “And the name Elohim is also mysterious because some scholars believe it’s a masculine plural form of a feminine singular noun. So the name includes both the masculine and the feminine—the one and only true God transcends gender”.

Our Bible study did a study on femininity and masculinity and how God put trends from himself into both. He is strong and mighty but he is also loving and comforting. God takes both roles of father and mother, but we often forget the motherly aspect of God. We think of Him as strong and mighty, we might even see Jesus as tender and loving, but we forget that role of God being both mother and father. When we see God as our mother we tap into one of the greatest gifts God gave mothers. Comfort.

Father’s can comfort too, but mother’s always seem to be especially good at it (at least for those of us who are blessed with a wonderful mother). Mother’s bandage our owies and kiss us goodnight and maybe sing us a lullaby. That’s not to say that daddy isn’t special and can’t do these things too, but there is something special about a mother’s comfort.

And so with this, draw close to your mother God. For He is good and loving and comforts us in our times of weakness.

Similar to this allusion of God as our mother was Julian’s comparison of God as our clothes.

Julian says in her book: “He is our clothing, who wraps and enfolds us for love, embraces us and shelters us, surrounds us for his love, which is so tender that he may never desert us. And so in this sight I saw that he is everything which is good, as I understand” (485).

 The idea was so strange to the class that many of us shook our heads. Our teacher even joked “God is our snuggie”. We laughed in delight.

Thinking on it further we decided that this was not as easy to find a Biblical bases for, but at the same time we saw some items that might be like clothes.

We mentioned that God is mentioned as our refuge, our fortress, both of which are protective like

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2

There are several verses in the Bible that include the words clothed:

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
Psalm 30:11

May your priests be clothed with your righteousness; may your faithful people sing for joy.’” Psalm 132:9

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 2^nd Corinthians 5: 1-3

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Galatians 3: 26-27

There are so many different ideas in these different verses. We see that God makes us new by clothing us in salvation, and in Christ. The illusion of clothing seems to often be one of being new and redeemed in Christ. We are naked and dirty and starving children wandering through the dark forest and when God, the king, finds us he takes us back to His palace and washes and cleans us and puts us in fresh new garments. The ideas here all seem to be a representation of how God makes us new. In Julian’s words He is our clothes because He has made us like Himself and redeemed us.

But I really think the metaphor of clothing goes back to that idea of comfort and love and just being wrapped up in the warmth of God’s great compassion for us. Clothes are comforting sometimes. When we’re cold we wrap up. Clothes provide protection, warmth, security, and, yes, comfort. Similarly God is our protector, our fortress, our refuge…our comfort.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3

So yes, the teacher was right in a way. God is our snuggie. God is our warm blanket we can wrap ourselves in when we feel alone, or hurt, or scared, or nervous, or confused. God is our comforter.

I’m so glad to have a God who comforts. I know my friend was greatly comforted, and I have been too. God comforted my feelings of inadequacy by showing me that He could take care of what I couldn’t do. He can work even in the small little things I say that don’t feel very important.

All I can say to Him is thank you. And after writing all about snuggies and blankets and love and comfort I long to be wrapped up in His warm loving arms, and the greatest joy is the fact that I am. I have a God who loves me with a love deeper than the oceans and higher than the heavens.

So I encourage you today if you are feeling lost or scared or hurt to draw near to the God who comforts. Call out to your heavenly father and mother. Let Him draw you into a warm embrace. Let Him clothe you in His deep love and righteousness. Let Him be your comfort.

 

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. Genesis 28: 15

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46: 1

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62: 8.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29: 11

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34: 18

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4: 6
The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

Works Cited

http://www.vatican.va/spirit/documents/spirit_20010807_giuliana-norwich_en.html

Damrosch, David and Kevin J. H. Dettamar (ed.) The Longman Anthology of British Literature. Longman. New York. 2010.

www.biblegateway.com